Thursday, December 23, 2010


Christmas is a time for GIVING. That is...




Plain and simple.

Let’s be really real. We all know how far gone the idea of ‘paying homage’ [see case Lil Kim v. Nicki Minaj 2010] to baby Jesus in a purely religious way is.!  I said it.

We've ousted out sweet, minty baby Jesus and replaced him with the old, morbidly obese bum that is St.Nicholas.

Instead, it is the season for:

-“barrel come”!      

-downtown shoppin’ for new curtains, rugs, and shower rods [huh?]

-trips to the very faithful Western Union Money Transfer

-freshly painted houses [in every possible colour …on ONE house]

-ham, sorrel and fruit cake

-Christmas-related Twitter Trending Topics

-fresh acrylic and rainbow-coloured synthetic hair [yikes!]  

-Santa Claus and the 12 Dwarves [oops. Did somebody just mix-up her   fairy tales?]

-Christmas Sunday school pageants at church


-and nativity scenes replications in our banks, churches, on greeting cards, on gift wraps and tree ornaments, in supermarket parking lots, and in electronics stores display windows [laughable].

Christmas used to mean the “Mass (celebration) of Christ”. Now it just for the Ma$$ spending of Ca$h!                     

I don't excite myself over Christmas or anything it entails. Never have, never will [*ahem* "Grinch"!].
However, let it be known that I'm never too apathetic about it not to accept gifts from those cheerful ones who are willing to offer a chick some stuff. Just don't expect any in return.

So don’t be shy. $pend a little money on ME this Christmas.


                       MY STOCKINGS ARE HUNGRY: FEED THEM!

   Kings Of Leon’s ‘Come Around Sundown’ Album   

Love Love Love these guys


     A Car, pleeeeeze!

Sexy Sexy Apple Products are always appreciated


I'll have some of this.....

      ...and drop in one of these too

      I'll be here with my stockings, waiting.......


Wednesday, December 22, 2010

ME? : "The Anti- New Years Resolution Address"

My name is “Jae” and I live in Jamaica, born and bred.
I’m a third year student at the University of the West Indies where I’m studying Media and Communication. My hopes for the future? Simply put, I just wanna BE SOMETHING. I want to create!

I’m pretty much a blogger virgin. I’ve always wanted to try it out, but I end up puss-ing out every time because by nature I’m pretty apprehensive about “putting myself out there”.
All is not lost, however, as I have decided to put one foot before the other as a representation of “the first step” about which dear mother encourages upon cries of apprehension and self doubt on my part [which come more often than ‘sometimes’, honestly].

Some Fun Facts:

-The Bane of my existence is boredom, procrastination and counter-productivity. However, I intend to get some ‘drive’ and ‘ambition’ very soon – either by way of some divine intervention or even if I have to beg, steal, buy, or borrow it.
-I have become comfortably numb. I’ve been known to call myself a ‘zombie’ on a few occasions.
#Yes. A South Park Reference. That just happened.
-I’m socially inept, occasionally obsessive, and a hoarder of sorts. 
-I half-ass half-assing.
-Full circle, low down dirty ‘pessimist’. I call myself ‘Captain Hindsight’ for crying out loud.  
-I have much fewer than ‘a few’ friends.
….and this is beginning to get a little ‘much’, so I’ll stop here. [Seriously, I could go on for hours]

The Revelation
I was watching Barbara Walters' annual ‘Most Fascinating People’ special the other night, listening to Oprah drop gems about what led to her monetary and spiritual success over the years. I must say, her words were killing a chick softly. I began to think right then and there …all introspective-like:
“Jae, What have you accomplished so far? What do you want out of life? Where-the-HELL-are-you-going”?

*crickets* …I had no answer.

I’m 21 years old now [ugh], and I’ve just gotten the memo:


So, here I am… JUMPING IN! No more succinctness, procrastination, and reclusion.

‘Life’…for me….begins….. *NOW*!

I’m not gonna try to experience hitch-hiking through Europe, free fallin’ from a flying plane [why would anyone wanna do that sh*t?], live with the Rastafarians at Bobo Hill for a year [what?], or ride a sand dune across a desert on the outskirts of Dubai.
Simply put, I just want to become more ‘present’ and ‘aware’.

I want to see everything, hear everything, taste everything, touch everything, feel everything, go everywhere, and do sexy sexy things. I’m gonna inspire and allow myself to be inspired. My life will now become footage reel for that damn John Mayer ‘Say’ song’s music video [a bit much, I know].

It’s time for me to RAWK-OUT-WITH-MY-CAWK-OUT!

Here goes.......